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Define Your Journey to Childbirth

By Denise Spatafora
March 2, 2009
File under: Health, Pregnancy


The following questions are meant to raise some of your conscious and unconscious fears.

Answer these questions as honestly as you can, expressing all of your thoughts and concerns until you can clearly state exactly what you are afraid of.

Look for common themes among your answers. For example, if you have issues with trust in general, you need to look at how lack of trust manifests in your own life, as well as the particular issues of trust surrounding your pregnancy.

  •   What are your current ideas about pregnancy and childbirth?
  •   What do you choose to think about or dwell on?
  •   Are you worrying about the delivery or your life after your child arrives?
  •   How will your relationships change?
  •   How will your work life change? 
  •   Do you worry that you will repeat the same bad parenting you received from your parents?
  •   Are you thinking about pain?
  •   Are you wondering how long the delivery will take?
  •   Are you wondering whether you will be strong enough to recover?
  •   Do you wonder whether you will require medication during the delivery?
  •   Are you afraid that you can’t deliver vaginally and will end up having a C-section?
  •   Are you unclear about the physical changes that will happen to your body?
  •   Do you understand how childbirth actually progresses?
  •   Are you afraid that your husband/partner/friends won’t be supportive?
  •   Are you afraid of what your life will look like afterward?
  •   Do you worry about taking care of yourself and your new family?
  •   Do you worry that you will never sleep again?

There is a true biology to change. If you think the same thoughts and you behave the same way every single day, your brain is not changing. If you are living in fear, you will continue to live in fear. In order to create real change, you have to open up new neurological pathways by learning and experiencing new things.

If you want to change your context from one that is full of fear to something else entirely, you have to combine thought and emotion: you must replace your fear with a passion for curiosity to find your new context.

A curious mind can regard these same fears or concerns in an entirely different context. You can dismantle the underlying fear by actually looking at each of your issues and replacing the fear with factual information that addresses your concerns, so that you reach a point where you are no longer afraid. Instead, you’ ll be educated and prepared.

You can dig underneath the fears that you bring to light during the visualization exercise by becoming curious about them. In this way, you will be able to determine whether the fears really represent your true thoughts. Ask yourself,  “Do I really think that?” and “Do I really fear that?”  See whether you can identify where specific fears, thoughts, or beliefs came from.

Once you replace fear with curiosity, you can begin to create a new context. You can define what this journey could be like. Your reflection has given you the power to make new choices, the ones that are right for  you—this is a personal journey.

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